Someone wrote in [personal profile] anonfeedback 2012-02-20 08:16 pm (UTC)

oh, god, i can never pinpoint things either, so.

well, i think that in your latest pornstar!au fic, the section whilst in the elevator (and the talk in there) felt much more natural on both their parts than "Please, I need – it’s so good – " earlier and "You look so good, baby," Yesung rasps. "Fucking gorgeous. Fuck, if only all these people could see you like this. So perfect, so fucking good." in a different fic. I guess that it just feels like standard porno talk and that never comes across in real life, from experience, and it reads awkwardly (as well as making me secondhand embarassed lmao)

idek, i'm sorry that i'm so unhelpful (and very late) but yeah.

I AM GOING TO SINK WITH THIS SHIP AND LIVE ON THE WRECKAGE AT THE BOTTOM ;_;

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